@jaycano I really like Sailor moon. By far my favorite. I have sailor Saturn tattooed on my thigh. I also love Angel Beats, Sword Art Online, An Ugly yet Beautiful World, Vampire Knight And a few others I cannot think of the name of right now
Hi I'm Mae and I love to write. I really enjoy poetry and short stories. I am trying to write book so we will see how far I get.
Posts made by maemeowza
Wow I have posted a lot lately. Sorry I guess I just have never had a place to share anything I have ever written. But here is some of my really old poetry from a really dark time in my life. Hope you guys kind of like them???
The best thing about you and me
Is we see the same moon
And feel the same sun
-Me myself and I-
I hate apologizing
The only thing I will ever apologize for
Is being me.
-I hear you-
Maybe this whole bottle of vodka
Will drown the demons
That stab my heart everytime I hear your name.
I turn up the music
So that maybe it will drown out the thoughts
But even as every note is played
they all help me float away
And they always bring me back to you
You are just another story
That I can’t tell anymore.
It’s 1:35 AM
The house is silent
The tears begin to fall
I love you so much
But you don’t think of me at all
-Sun down to sun up-
You told me you loved me as the sun went down
And when it came up you couldn’t even look me in the eye
You give me writers block
Because everything you make me feel
starts thunderstorms in my head
and sends lightning down to my heart
You make me feel everything at once
yet not a damn thing at all
-You deserve to be here-
You cry and say you want to die, but why?
I know you have scars inside but keep fighting
You want to whisper and say goodbye
To fade away and fight away the lightning
Please put your razors down they are not needed
Please drop the lighter and let the burns heal
“No stop you are strong” she pleaded
I know it’s hard but try and keep our deal
Darkness will fade happiness will return
Let go of the past and try to move on
I know what its like to be burned
The world would not be the same with you gone
Your bruises will fade but the scars will stay
The colors will return, the world can’t stay grey
Hi guys since I have seen some introductions floating around so I figured I would just post one. My name is Mae and I just got back into writing. I use to write a ton of poetry but I honestly stopped writing ever since recently when I found a ton of my old work. I really want to write a book but I have not found the right story. I am trying to find one though!
Anyways a little bit about me, I am 20, I work all the time so it is kind of hard for me to find time to write. I tend to write either science fiction, or depressing/love stories. I also use to write a lot of poetry but lately poetry has not really been my thing.
Outside of writing I am flower child at heart, I love almost anything 60s and 70s. The Beatles are my favorite band and my favorite movie is Across the Universe. I am from Colorado. I love horror but also love mushy love stories. I collect dream catchers and fairies. I am beyond socially awkward and I love certain animes! I could sleep all day and watch movies all day and I can watch the same movies over and over and over again and never ever get tired of it. and Im a vegan. (yes i'm sorry I didn't know what else to say.)
So just out of curiosity, I was wondering if anyone edited their writing while they are writing? I know I don't because If I do I will lose my train of thought. Well I am trying not to but if I type to fast I spell EVERYTHING wrong and those little red lines drive me NUTS.
If you don't edit while you write do you guys edit after you are finished writing the whole thing or do you have specific times to edit?
Wow does that question even make sense. Sorry Its black Friday and I had to work last night and early this morning so I am a little out of it.
RE: Probably the saddest short story I have ever written
@Josey In all honesty, I actually was just feeling really down one day and writing was a way to try and feel better about these feelings I was having and this was the result. This is honestly one of my favorite pieces I have ever written and I am so happy people are enjoying it.
Probably the saddest short story I have ever written
The morning was crisp. It was the kind of crisp where you inhale and you can feel all the breath just flow through your lungs. Stabbing them like knives. It was a painful crisp. It wasn’t just painful because of the air it was painful because when I rolled over you weren’t there. The indent of your body was no longer there but yet the smell of you and the memory of you still linger. I remember when I could roll over kiss you good morning and then get up and get ready for my day I was happy and felt like nothing could take that from me. Now I don’t leave bed. I will lay there for hours on end watching the walls and listen to my fan that fills the emptiness. And when I finally have the energy to push myself from bed I drag myself to the shower and then to the kitchen. I don’t eat breakfast anymore when I use to make you eggs and bacon and toast every morning. I sit at the table and listen to the news that I care nothing for. I don’t need any news of how many died last night or how many children are missing. I sit in my own self pity and do nothing about it. I don’t talk to my friends any longer and the only person that ever calls me is my job when they need me to come in. Other then that I sit around my house empty and drink myself to sleep over the thought of you.
It was 11 am and the sun was barely peeking through my dark room. I rolled over and checked my phone for all the phone calls and texts I wouldn't have. But when I checked it I had 7 missed calls. And they were all from you. I listened to the voicemail that you had left me. I remember you crying and saying you were sorry and saying that you needed me. I checked all the voicemails and they were all the same. You crying and apologizing and saying you need me. Then I got to the last one which was from your mom and the only thing she said was you were gone and that you had left me a note. I heard her voice crack before she hung up and I heard her heart wrenching sobs. Click.
My heart stopped. I felt this huge weight on my chest pushing down on me. I dropped my phone and fell to the bed letting every tear escape my eyes and all the screams pour from my soul. I didn’t just cry I full on sobbed. I felt the pain in my chest get bigger and heavier and harder. It ached through me and I felt it pulse through my veins. I didn’t want to accept the fact. So I got up threw some clothes on and ran to my car. I drove over to your house and ran inside. I went straight to your room where I found you on the ground blood pooled around the exit wound on your wrists. I saw the pile of vomit in which your head was almost in. I saw the razor sitting next to your limp cold dead hand. I leaned against the wall and collapsed to the ground as the heart wrenching body shaking sobs came.
“NO!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. I crawled over to you and picked your head up and shook you begging you to get up and talk to me and for you to come back. “You can’t leave me” I sobbed. My tears blurred my vision and all I saw in front of me was what I assumed to be your mother and your brother. Your brother came over and pulled me away. I fought as hard as I could I couldn’t leave you I didn't want to leave. He pulled me off the floor and into the hallway and held me as I buried my face so deep into his chest he almost fell over. My knees were weak and my whole body hurt.
After the paramedics came and took your body away I went into your room and layed in your bed. I remember I layed there for exactly 2 hours inhaling your scent and crying so deep I felt as if I would break. You couldn't be gone I told myself. I pinched my arms so hard I bled trying to wake up from this horrible dream. I didn’t wake up and I knew I i wouldn’t. even as much as I wanted to. There was a knock on your bedroom door when your brother walked in and gave me a slip of paper where I saw your hurried writing. I grabbed it slowly and he sat next to me and put his hand on my thigh and waited until I read it.
I’m writing you this because tonight's the night that my life will come to an end. I just want you to know how much I love you and How much you have always meant to me. I know these past few months were hard when I thought we needed a break. I was dead wrong. And I wish I had stayed with you. You kept me grounded and never once left my side. I know you will blame yourself no matter what I say but I promise that this is not your fault and you should never ever blame yourself. This is not your fault. I just couldn’t do it anymore the pain was too much and I honestly can’t handle anything. There is too much stress and too much pain everywhere. I love you so much and until we meet again. I love you and live your life to the fullest for both of us.
Forever and always
The letter fell from my hand as I read the last lines. I couldn’t help but blame myself. He called me so many time and I didn’t answer once. I didn’t even hear it. If I answered he would still be here and he would be with me. This is all my fault.
His brother took the letter from me and put it on the table next his bed and wrapped his arms around me. I wanted to cry. I wanted to just scream and hit things but I didn’t. I just sat there motionless. My heart felt heavy and I couldn’t even let out a few tears. I was completely empty. I pushed myself away from his brother and got up and walked downstairs. I didn't say goodbye I didn't say anything. I just walked to my car with my head down.
When I got home I went into my room and slammed the door so hard it was as if the whole building would fall. I leaned against it and felt the heart wrenching sobs over come me. My knees grew weak and I fell to the floor. I hit the ground so hard with a thud It felt as if every bone in my body was broken. I didn’t want to cry so I shoved myself up and punched the wall so hard my knuckles instantly broke open and blood gathered at the top. I grabbed the pillow and screamed so loud my ribs shattered against each other. I threw everything and punched and hit and screamed till the pain went to my head and swelled in my chest. Tears poured from my eyes and rolled down my cheeks so fast it was as if they were on a roller coaster. I fell to the ground and curled into a little ball and cried for hours and hours. You weren’t coming back. And I wasn’t going to make it. My heart had shattered and would never be put back together again. I didn’t move. I looked up at our picture and whispered goodbye.
I have no name for this story yet
So I wrote this story in 2014 and I think it has real potential to be something good. Maybe not great but maybe good. So I was wondering if anyone could give ideas as to what happens next, maybe switch up a few things? Remember I wrote this in high school so it is not at all good and I have not touched it since, so yeah just a little thing to keep in mind
The year is 2014. It’s a Tuesday in the middle of October. It’s 9:30 PM and my 18 birthday is in two and half hours. Now I know what you are thinking if you are from the far future I hope that in all honestly things have changed for you. But on my 18 birthday along with everyone else’s birthday, our lives are changed for what people think is the beginning to a great life. Tomorrow morning I get to choose my job, my personality, and what I look like and my talents. Sounds pretty amazing right? Well I think it’s wrong. I also will get the time on my wrist of 28:06:42:12. That’s how much time I have until I either get to live my life or I have to die right then and there when that clock hits zero. If I do anything wrong in those 28 days I die and everything I have ever done will be forgotten.
The government tries really hard to keep things like this hidden. They want the world to remain sweet and innocent to those who have not entered the real world yet. Which is understable. But the only reason I know is because they took my brother away. And after his time hit zero my parents got their memories erased so they would never ever have to remember their son dying in their daughter’s arms ever again. That was over a year ago. I am the only one who remembers anything and everything about him. How could my parents do that? Just erase him as if he was just some pointless doodle on your science homework. He was my best friend. And now he is gone. I don’t get to listen to his amazing advice and have him help in this situation. Because In my opinion I don’t think this transformation is worth it. Its a waste of time and I know that one of those days during my 28 I will freak out and then they will have to automatically shut off my time. Because I would be a disgrace.
If anything goes wrong you can get it erased. But why would you want that? I mean to forget things so precious. Like holding your baby for the first time or maybe watching them walk or talk. Or riding a bike for the first time? I mean I guess it makes sense to erase some memories but they don’t they erase everything that has to do with topic. I guess forgetting is less painful than remembering. I wish my parents kept my brother in their memories. But now we have no choice but to sit there and realize that I am their only child. And to them always have been.
The clock in my room struck a 11:30. I layed in bed just waiting for the time to run out. The chiming and the gentle tick tock were soothing yet every time I heard a tock my heart sank. It was like a time bomb that could go off at any given moment. I didn’t want tomorrow to come. I couldn’t handle it. My life might end at the end of those 28 days. Every bump bruise scar anything wrong with me will be erased tomorrow morning and I will start with clean slate. A clean slate I truly don’t want. I enjoy having the scar above my eye when I fell down in the playground. I want the bruise from when I hit my hip on the side of the table. I want those. They are apart of me. Why can’t anyone else see that?
That time had finally came. I was officially 18. I layed my head on my pillow and just layed there looking up at the ceiling. I didn’t want this choice I didn’t want to deal with this huge decision of picking everything my life was suppose to be. What if I choose the wrong thing? What if this isn’t the right choice? What if I never live past those 28 days? My heart was racing and my head was running through every thought I could have. I was panicking and crying. My mom came in and sat on my bed. She wasn’t smiling like she always does. She sat there and ran her fingers through my hair. I looked up at her and all she could do was look at me with her sad doe eyes.
“Honey, there is no need to be upset.” She whispered. “I know it’s scary but I promise that everything will be ok.”
I just looked up at her and shook my head. She didn’t understand and she never would. She wanted to be like everyone else.
“Mom you don’t understand, you want to be like everyone else. I don’t know! I want to be myself and feel like I belong in my own skin!”
She didn’t say anything. She just looked at me and she began to cry. She didn’t say anything else. She got off my best and walked out the room. I just layed there.
I eventually fell asleep. I woke up to my parents standing by my bed with a cake. It was cursive writing saying “Happy Birthday Skye” I got up and hugged both of them without saying anything. We all knew what I was thinking just none of us were going to say or talk about it.
“Honey, you should get ready. Your breakfast will be on the table when you are ready.” Said my mom.
They left closing the door quietly. I walked over to my closet and pulled my jeans out and some random purple shirt. Through it on and braided my hair to the side. I stood looking in the mirror taking everything. The scar above my eye was visible today. I took everything in. I was going to miss looking this since my hair and eyes didn’t fit into the descriptions. My eyes were filled with exhaustion but I couldn’t do anything. So i took a long deep breath in and out and walked out of my room. Slowly of course because I didn’t want to see my family. They were going to try and talk about how I need to focus on the good and no the bed. No one dies during the transformation.” I could already hear it.
I was wrong though. I walked into the kitchen and saw a pile of waffles and fruit and bacon all on my plate. My mom was on one side of the table and my dad was on the other. They weren’t talking. They weren’t smiling. They weren’t doing anything. I sat down and ate silently not saying a word. I kept everything to myself.
Once I finished my mom and I walked out to the car and were on our way to examination center where I would no longer have the scar above my eye. The scar above my eye. The car ride was silent and I just sat there looking out the window as if I was in some cheesy romance/sad song. I mean I guess this was a sad song because everything was changing and I wasn’t ready for it.
We walked into the examination room and they put me on a table. I didn’t say anything. They showed my pictures of what I wanted and I chose the black hair with blue eyes. A girl who could write, sing, and play the piano and guitar. I chose to be a photographer. And that was that. They covered my eyes and my mom left. The doctor came up to me and that’s when I decided to strike. I elbowed the doctor in the gut and has he fell to the ground I jumped up uncovered my eyes and ran. As I ran to the door the guards ran in to try and stop my from getting out. I kicked punched and bit my way through. I was NOT going to be changed. I’m going to get away and not have to worry about anything.
I ran through the halls trying to hide and make sure no one else saw me. I wasn’t spotted but then the hard part came next. The doors to the outside world. I looked at them. They were tall and had to be opened by a button. There were two guards walking back and forth in front of them And that was my only chance out. I had to make a distraction so that the guards would leave the door unguarded and I could get out. But then I had to plan after that. Where was i going to go? I couldn’t go home. They would expect that.
I watched the guards and they suddenly ran the opposite direction. The door was unguarded and that was my chance. The chance that I took. I took a few deep breaths and ran as fast and hard as I could. I was almost to the button when two hard strong hands came down on my shoulder. I fell to the ground coughing and gasping for air. Whoever was behind on me grabbed my hands and put them above my head. I couldn’t move. I looked at the face and it was the doctor that was suppose to do my evaluation. He used all his weight to push me into the ground and make sure I couldn’t and wouldnt move. His knee was against my ribs shoving into them.
“You need to come with us.”
He grabbed my by my hair and pulled me off the ground wrapped his arms all the way around me. Then I looked over to see another doctor walk towards me with a huge needle ready to stick it into my arm. I looked at him and screamed bloody murder. I kicked and cried and did whatever I could to get away from him. I wasn’t strong enough. The other doctor grabbed my arm and shoved the needle into it. At first I didn’t feel anything but then I felt the sudden tiredness and my body go completely limp. I wanted to fight and struggle and get away but I couldn’t. I fought to keep my eyes open. But they closed and wherever they wanted to take me they could take me there without a fight.
I awoke in an empty room. Everything was white and I was strapped down to a chair. My parents were standing over me and they were talking and laughing and smiling with the doctor. I wanted to tell them that people don’t have a choice for anything. THey have to do it no matter what. But I couldnt they would never believe me. THey didn’t see me run through these halls trying to get away. THey only saw my laying on a bed strapped down because according to the doctor I got “overwhelmed” and “had a slight mental breakdown.” but i was ok now. My parents nodded and agreed to everything he said. The looked at me and smiled ear to ear. All I could think was I will never smile like that. The only way I will smile is if you cut me ear to ear.
“We are glad you have come to terms honey. We know this is a good idea and we know you are ready.” My dad said.
The doctor moved towards me and I began to panic. I didnt want to change but I had no choice. The doctor covered my eyes and made sure I was really strapped in so I couldn’t elbow him again. I layed there unable to do anything. I didnt say anything. I didn’t think anything. I heard the doctor and my parents leave as the door closed. The machines began to run and they started making loud noises. IF you were in here you would have to yell at anyone you were talking to.
All I heard for those 5 seconds were silence and the gentle purr of a machine and all I saw was a bright light through the cover over my eyes and that was that.
Skye awoke to her friends and family standing around looking at how she had changed. Her hair was now black and her eyes were now blue. The scar above her eye was no longer there. And her memories of how she got there were erased. She looked at her family and smiled ear to ear. Everyone clapped and cheered her on. She looked around and then walked up to the long mirror hanging and looked at her new self. She looked shocked.
“I look beautiful!” She exclaimed.
And she did. Her skin was soft and gently white. Her eyes were as blue as the ocean and they were filled with laughter. But one thing that everyone saw in her eyes, were her old self. She still had their gentleness and yet they were filled with the pain she had before the transformation. But Skye didn't remember that life and she never would. Now her time starts and her time do the right thing. Her new life was to begin right at this very moment for 28:06:42:06.