story telling



  • This one is for all the times that Benito says misleading things about both his sisters and his general relationship with his family . It's also because Benito never talks about his childhood, but I get the feeling it was full of events like this. Finally, I apologize that Haris couldn't be included, because Haris is the best. He's probably my favorite of Benito's relatives. (Haris is basically his step father.)


    Benito was starting to nod off when Juana plopped in the tiny space between him and the arm of the couch.

    She leaned over him, jabbing one of her elbows into his thigh. “Do you wanna hear a story?”
    Cornelia frowned at her. “What kind of story?”

    “So, there’s once, and we’re probably like, what, twelve?” she looked at Benito for confirmation, but he only shrugged. What was he, a mind reader? “Anyway, we’re sitting there, and he’s falling asleep into his bowl, and Dora finally notices, and I don’t remember what she said, but it was the most hilarious thing, and we’re just sitting there cackling. And he’s glaring at her, and instead of just saying, ‘Hey, Papa, will you make her stop?’ he throws his bowl at her.”

    “Oh!”

    “You remember now?”

    “Yeah, I remember now. I have pictures, by the way.”

    Nelly’s eyebrows raised. “Of Dora covered in salad?”

    “It was soup, actually,” Juana said.

    Cold soup.” Benito wrinkled his nose. "And I was talking about Juana."

    “Anyway, so, he can’t reach Mama’s bowl to throw at me. He actually spilled it on himself trying to pull it from Mama. And I’m just hysterical about all of this.” Juana grinned while she talked. “And we’re laying in bed that night, and I’m laying there, and I’m like, ‘I should make this up’, you know, because it’s impolite to laugh at people.”

    “She poked me until I woke up.”

    “I did. He has a squishy face. So, he wakes up, and I’m like, ‘Okay, in the morning, we’ll get up a little early, and I’ll buy you some breakfast to make up for earlier.’ And he sits there, and he sits there, and I know what he’s thinking, because I’m a mad genius, but instead of saying, ‘Aw, thanks for the offer, but you don’t have to do that’, he says, ‘What if we do this instead. What if I go get Mama’s makeup in the morning and we put it on you.’ And I’m like, ‘And we’ll pretend that I did it, huh?’ And he goes, ‘Oh, good, we’re on the same page!’”

    “That sounds like a lot of overkill,” Nelly said.

    “What’re we talking about?” Dora asked, plopping onto the couch in the small space between Nelly and the arm of the couch.

    “Stop interrupting, Dora!” Juana snapped. “In the morning, he wakes me up early, and I guess he actually went into our parents’ room sometime in the middle of the night and got under the bed and pulled out Mama’s box of makeup and pulled out a bunch of random containers and brushes. So he drags me to the bathroom, and I sit on the toilet, and he’s organizing these random things he pulled out, and neither of us know what’s what, and leans in, and he says, ‘It’s okay. I’m a professional.’”

    “To be fair,” Benito said, holding up a hand, “I never said what I was a professional of.”

    Juana shook her head. “So we probably sit there for an hour, and I don’t know what he’s doing, and I know he doesn’t know what he’s doing, but he finally sits up and he’s like, ‘Well, I guess it’s pretty good.’ So he gets up and he gets on the counter and pulls off the mirror and hands it to me. And it probably weighs about as much as me; that thing was really heavy.
    And I don’t know what happened, but one cheek was bluish-purple and sort’ve looked like a bruise, and the other one was pink, and he grabbed a gaudy bright green eyeshadow, and the lipstick was a bright plum color. I didn’t even know my mother had all of this stuff laying around.”

    “She says all this like I knew what it would look like on her face. Or like I knew how to apply it.” Benito rolled his eyes. “Except the lipstick. I love that lipstick.”

    “Shut up! This is my story!” Juana glared momentarily at him. “So, I think he was planning it all night long, because he puts the mirror back on the wall, and he says, ‘Okay. I’m gonna put the makeup back, but you have to stay here for a while longer so that we don’t come out at the same time.’ So I sit there and I wait for a while, and I’m looking at myself in the mirror thinking, ‘I could wash it all away right now. I don’t have to do this.’ But, I’m a good person, and I hold up my word when I give it, so I didn’t wash it off.

    “After a while, I went into my room and got into my school uniform and I was thinking, you know, if I’m going to have makeup on, then I might as well look fancy, so I braided my hair and I put on that necklace from our aunt… which aunt was it?”

    “The stupid looking one that was a star or something?”

    “No, the other one.”

    “The stupid looking one that was a horse or something?”

    “Yeah, that one.”

    “I think that was Aunt Mona.” She was definitely the weirder of their father’s sisters. She had an obsession with all things equestrian. Speaking of Aunt Mona, he should probably visit her sometime soon.

    Juana nodded. “Yeah, that sounds right. So I put that on, and I almost put on my charm bracelet, but I don’t want someone to steal that, so I leave it off. And I go into the living area, which isn’t much bigger than these two rooms, and Benito and Dora are both in their school uniforms, and we had cereal that morning, which was great, because that was the only time we were allowed to touch the milk.”

    “Even though Papa drank about three gallons a day.”

    “Right!?” Juana sighed. “Anyway, so I keep my head down, and Mama and Papa are both at the table, and they’re like, ‘Good morning!’ and I’m like ‘Good morning!’ and don’t look at them, and I pour the milk and I purposely put in way more than I need for the cereal, and I stand there for a minute, trying to figure out how to sit down without anyone noticing. Well, I’m gonna get caught anyway, so I just sit down and keep my head down, and I realize that if my hair was down, then I could hide my face, but there’s nothing to do now. And Benito doesn’t even look at me, he’s just rambling about I don’t even know what.”

    “And then Dora made some joke about looking like a ghoul and my life was complete.”

    Juana glared at him. “Shut up. This is my story.”

    Benito rolled his eyes. “You wouldn’t even have this story if not for me.”

    Juana huffed. “You take the fun out of everything.”

    “What’re you talking about? Your life is boring without me.”

    “You’d be surprised at how exciting my life is without you. Definitely more exciting than when you are around.”

    “I’m wounded!” Benito yelled, pressing the back of his hand against his forehead.

    “Was that necessary?” Nelly asked, pressing her hand over her ear.

    Benito looked at her. “Sorry.”

    “Can I finish my story, please?’

    Benito waved a hand. “I suppose.”

    “Thank you.” Juana drew in a deep breath. “Where was I even at?”

    “Apparently I said something about you being ghoulish,” said Dora.

    Juana clapped her hands together. “Right! So, they make me look up, and Mama is horrified, and she starts yelling at me-- and our mother, she doesn’t yell, she never yells, she always is just kind of quiet when you do something wrong, she gives the silent treatment, you know?-- and she starts yelling, and she finally finishes yelling at me, and she tells me to go wash my face.

    “I’m getting up to go to the bathroom, which is alright with me, and Papa holds up a hand, and he says, ‘No, no, wait. If she wants to wear that to school, then let her wear it.’” Juana sighed. “I was mortified. And we got into the hall, and me and him are out there alone, and I look at him, and he just starts cackling, and that’s what he did, for the rest of the day. Every time he looked at me, he just started cackling.”

    “I have like a million pictures of it. I made half her friends pose with her.”

    “Yes.” Her facial expression became serious. “Yes you did. It was lovely.”

    “Why didn’t you wash it off?” Dora asked, in a sort of condescending voice. “I don’t even remember this.”

    “You don’t remember anything,” Benito said, sighing. It was nothing to get irritated about. “You’re going to forget to go to your funeral.”

    Dora scowled. “I don’t have the energy for your attitude.”

    “So!” Nelly leaned forward, smiling too broadly. “Pictures?”


  • Plotist Team: Community Storyteller

    @typical_demigod said in story telling:

    “The stupid looking one that was a star or something?”
    “No, the other one.”
    “The stupid looking one that was a horse or something?”
    “Yeah, that one.”

    Omg. I spit out my tea! That so caught me off guard. lol.

    I love this entire piece. The whole concept of family interactions tends to be missed from stories, and I can see now why Benito has such a love/hate/apathetic relationship with his siblings... I also want more stories. More!



  • @Josey LOL XD That pleases me.

    I KNOW. Fiction is so caught up on shoehorning in romance that it forgets about all the OTHER interesting relationships that people can have! It's why I'm making a big deal of introducing all the protags interacting with their families in the beginning.

    But yeah. Benito's family dynamic keeps changing on me and I have no clear idea what's going on or even why he has some of the relationships he does.

    Yeah, there are a lot more stories sitting around in his childhood. From what I can tell, he and Juana were... troublemakers, to say the least.


  • Plotist Team: Community Storyteller

    @typical_demigod See, that's interesting to me. I write a lot of romance, unashamedly. And for me, the stories that I love to write (and read) allow for family, but often times key things are missing. Like one series I recently read had a series of brothers and sisters, and the brothers have this little competition from childhood of trying to show who is the biggest, baddest. It's nothing horrible, it's just hugging and patting each other on the back with as much force as possible. That's it. But that little action shows so much, especially with how they all react to each other's hugging. The whole "no family" protagonists in stories seems like such a cop out for me.

    Another fantastic romance series I read recently had a female protagonist ripped from Earth to the other side o the galaxy and there is NO way for her to get back... to her son. That came out of left field and i was like .. WOAH.. imagine that. And it was a darn good romance as well.



  • @Josey See, I suck at writing romance, and I have little interest in reading it because in most every book I read, they all end the same. And then they try that annoying love triangle for tension and I want to strangle the book -_-

    Yeah, the "no family" is so overused. I prefer to see how family influences the character. In most of my stories where the characters have families, I can tell you how that has influenced them and how they grew up. But I can also see how my parents' worldview still influence my worldview and some of my values, and there are just as many differences in how I view the world compared to them.

    See, more romance stories need twists like that; maybe then they would be interesting to me. IMO all the stories are the same and thus predictable. I think it also might just be overused in general. Walk in to a theater to watch an action movie and instead you get stuck waiting for the romance plot that makes no sense whatsoever for the characters to finish. (Not always, not always. There were a couple movies I've watched recently that avoided it. But if there's a female character, the odds are high that she's the love interest. If she's the protag, odds are high that she has a love interest running around. >.>)


  • Plotist Team: Community Storyteller

    @typical_demigod I admit I am not a big fan of love triangles. In the stories I am currently obsessed with (from another author), the couple may form, but that means nothing as people still die, there is still a horrible threat, and all that story was, was a little bit of sunshine in a normally dark and dangerous world.

    Even worse for me is the concept of family that isn't there but was only abusive, or horrible. I have a character who suffered through hell growing up. But she doesn't spend her whole life blaming it on the family she was raised from. Family can be good ... and bad. And sometimes it is worth walking away from family to save yourself. But man, some authors who spend all their time trying to convince me to forgive the protags because their mommy didn't buy them a doll when they were kid, drives me nuts. We're more than just one event... we're the sum of everything that has happened to us. :) Now this is not to say I don't enjoy the occasional mindless romance---the ones with everything pretty much predicable from the onset, but there is more to life than just one single event.



  • @Josey said in story telling:

    Even worse for me is the concept of family that isn't there but was only abusive, or horrible.

    AGREED. I'm totally guilty of this, but it's annoying when it's used constantly >:| Most people from abusive families still come out as fantastic people. And YES about walking away from the family. My mom's BFF's daughter is getting married to a guy from an abusive, super controlling family, and it goes against all of their values for him to just walk away from his family, but it's horrible and tbh he'd probably be much better off from it.

    Anyway.

    In the stories I am currently obsessed with (from another author), the couple may form, but that means nothing as people still die, there is still a horrible threat, and all that story was, was a little bit of sunshine in a normally dark and dangerous world.

    See and I'm okay with that, but more often than not, the protag and their love interest don't die and they stay together and there's no real tension about their relationship.

    On a totally different topic, I think having sunshine in a dark and dangerous world is really important, whatever form it takes. Some of my stories get dark, but I try and make it so that it's not darkness darkness darkness, because that itself can get boring quickly. Readers and characters need a minute to breath from darkness (TM).

    And to carry on with my scatter-brainedness, nothing drives me nuts more than when the characters did get everything handed to them on a silver platter, for two reasons.

    1. It's alright for parents to say no. In fact, if they say no, they won't have a rebellious teenager in the future and/or their child won't grow up to be a brat;

    2. The kid that got everything on a silver platter always manages to be the Kindest, Most Selfless Person, and while that certainly does happen, it happens just as often that the kid turns out to be a spoiled brat. But you don't see that unless the character is the villain (or villain's kid).

    There's nothing wrong with enjoying a good mindless romance. If I watch an action movie, 9 times out of 10, I'm watching it to see stuff get blown up, not for the plot or originality XD I just don't prefer romance. :P



  • Ogmigosh how did I not see this sooner? o.o

    My first thought reading this just now: "Who's Cornel-.... OH!" facepalm

    This was really funny to me. I'm the youngest of five kids, as I may or not have mentioned, and yeah... All the sibling shenanigans all of the time. It's always great to read and write. You've all noticed by now how I love writing family dynamics. I do it even for characters that have no actual biological family because... The people you become close to will inevitably fill that role whether you realize, or want them to. pokes Luckas :P

    And Benito's family seems pretty normal. lol

    This seems like the kind of stunt my sister and my brother would pull on each other. I didn't get that kind of thing mostly because there's a significant age difference between me and the rest of my siblings. They'd find other ways to pick on me. Like my brother; the scientist ruining all my childhood books with his goddamn logic. Six year old me did not CARE if rainbow colored raindrops are possible damn it! -.-

    Truth be told, 28 year old me still doesn't care, rainbow colored rain is AWESOME!

    Ehem. >.>



  • @Blackbird XD XD XD

    Yeah, I'm the 3rd of 8 children, so... it's pretty rambunctious here all the time! :D My younger sisters have actually gotten into my mom's makeup and one of them just wandered around covered in mascara but super proud of herself because she got makeup on.

    I'm... I'm actually probably your brother for the rest of my family. sigh Maybe you should create rainbow colored rain. Then people definitely can't argue with you! (Or you can just flash a light perfectly so that an actual rainbow appears and you can pretend?)

    Tbh, the best part about being middle child in a large family is I can think about how I interacted with my siblings, but then I can also watch my younger siblings interact and see that dynamic. Most of the time, when I'm writing kids, I take elements from how they act.

    Overall, yeah, his family is chill. I just can't figure out his relationship with Dora and it's really frustrating me. So far his family is the only one where I've written a lot of their interactions together and they're probably my favorite.


  • Plotist Team: Community Storyteller

    @Blackbird said in story telling:

    Truth be told, 28 year old me still doesn't care, rainbow colored rain is AWESOME!

    Almost 40 ... and I swear rain should always be rainbow coloured. Just sayin...

    @typical_demigod said in story telling:

    Tbh, the best part about being middle child in a large family is I can think about how I interacted with my siblings, but then I can also watch my younger siblings interact and see that dynamic. Most of the time, when I'm writing kids, I take elements from how they act.

    Such an intersting concept. I have an older sister and younger sister. I sit smack dab in the middle, and due to the age differences, I am in a separate generation than both of them. It is odd to me to watch them. But when I write stories, I tend to avoid writing kids. It's very hard for me to get an 11 y/o just right. I tend to make them act like they 5 lol. And teenagers always come out as angsty-hate-everyone even though I know some who are awesome. I just know my weakness and thus I write more mature and adult rated stories.



  • @Josey said in story telling:

    But when I write stories, I tend to avoid writing kids. It's very hard for me to get an 11 y/o just right. I tend to make them act like they 5 lol. And teenagers always come out as angsty-hate-everyone even though I know some who are awesome. I just know my weakness and thus I write more mature and adult rated stories.

    I'm the exact same. Even when I was younger my stories were always about people who were older than me because they seemed so much easier to write :/ If there is one thing I will never be brave enough to attempt, it is to write from the POV of anyone less than teenager. Teenagers I can do pretty well, imo, but kids I'm pretty sure I always write too mature, so the only time the pop up is if they're, like, someone's niece or sibling or something. At that point, I don't have to have a lot of interaction with them, typically.


Log in to reply
 

Looks like your connection to Plotist's Awesome Writers was lost, please wait while we try to reconnect.